Bed of Asphodels

 

Fullmetal Alchemist (2003) was regarded as one of the greatest anime ever made around the time of its release. I believe that was the correct assessment then as it still is today. I think this is the seventh or eighth time I've rewatched this series.

 

I'm always hesitant to talk about FMA 03 publicly because I DREAD the responses I know I'm going to get - "Have you seen Brotherhood?" or even worse, "Brotherhood is so much better!"

 

I have a take, and it's a pretty spicy one: sometimes things that deviate from their source material are better. I believe that's the case here. Thematically, aesthetically, in its writing, in its lore - FMA 03 is the greatest anime ever made. Yes, even (especially) over FMAB. I intend to write up a much longer review/analysis of this series at some point, but since I want to keep my roundup posts fairly brief, I'll simply leave you with this: If you've never seen FMA, I am begging you to watch FMA 03. Don't listen to anyone who tells you it isn't worth watching. If you've tried FMAB or the FMA manga and found it wasn't for you, I am begging you even harder to check out FMA 03 - it's a much more somber, sophisticated, and poignant narrative than the other two versions of the story.

 

 

 

I'll be honest, I didn't enjoy this movie when I first watched it around age 16. I found it muddled, confusing and a bit boring. Though I had seen FMA 03 in its entirety at that point and immensely enjoyed it, I admittedly didn't really have a really good grasp of its broader themes and subtleties.

 

My last two rewatches in 2024 and 2025, respectively, I had a much better sense of how this movie fit into the larger narrative of FMA 03. Again, I think this is one of the best anime movies ever created, and in my opinion one of the best media depictions of the rise and spread of fascism. It has a lot to say about morality, humanity, and the ripple effect our choices have on ourselves and those around us. Watch FMA 03 - and then this. It's the essential conclusion to the narrative.

 

 

I watched Breaking Bad in 2015 and really enjoyed it, and especially found Saul Goodman to be a fun and interesting character - so I was intrigued to finally dive into BCS late last year. Let me tell you, I was not at all expecting this series to be the constant emotional gut punch it was. 

 

It seems to be the opinion these days that BCS is much better than BrBa, and I wholeheartedly agree. BCS is much more of a slow burn, the characters are much more interesting and compelling, and familiar faces from BrBa are given a lot more time to shine here. (I shed tears over Mike Ehrmantraut on multiple occasions.) Jimmy's rise-fall-rise-fall-etc character arc is delightfully frustrating - BCS asks a lot of questions about whether one is made by their innate nature, how they are treated by others, or the choices they make, and doesn't offer up any clear answers. If you want a series that will give you lots to mentally chew on, look no further.

 

If you haven't seen either series and are interested in checking them out, I would suggest starting with BrBa even though BCS comes before it chronologically, since a lot of the emotion in the series is, in my opinion, enhanced by knowing where things will eventually land.

 

My only real criticism is that the final season starts to lag a bit, and there was a plotline with one particular character that I felt was dragged out a bit longer than it should have been. But the ending was narratively satisfying, and though it's a slow ride to get there, it's well worth the time.

 

Galavant is one of my favorite comfort watches that I go back to with some regularity, so I was excited to show it to Will. It's a goofy, slapstick fantasy-comedy with incredibly catchy musical numbers and fun characters - as well as some shockingly good costuming and set design. I'm sad I haven't seen the main cast members of this show in more comedies. They're incredibly funny and bounce off one another perfectly.

 

The show was plagued with a lot of funding obstacles and unfortunately this does drag on its quality a bit in the second season - although the blow is somewhat softened by some tastefully cheeky fourth wall breaks about what was going on behind the scenes. If you're like me and spend more time identifying actors by their other roles than actually watching what's on your screen (sorry) this is a fun one, as there's pretty frequent cameos from big names scattered throughout the show.

 

 

Thriller-comedy is a genre I really have a lot of fondness for, and it's one I wish I saw a lot more of. (Edgar Wright's Cornetto Trilogy are the only others I can think of at the moment, though I'm sure I've seen others.) Anna Kendrick and Blake Lively have great comedic chemistry in this movie, and unfortunately I can't really say much more about it without getting into spoilers. This is a very twisty movie, which gets just a liiiiittle tiresome toward the end as said twists get a bit more rapid-fire, but is nonetheless a really fun watch.

 

 

After watching A Simple Favor I wanted to give another Anna Kendrick movie a shot - though unfortunately I didn't really enjoy this one as much. It's well-acted, but the writing is all over the place with little in the way of narrative structure. It's slow and meandering, and never really quite has the excitement or tension you hope for, especially being a movie about a serial killer.

 

 

This one was interesting and definitely kept me hooked, which is a testament to Jake Gyllenhaal's acting ability as he's the only character on screen for about 90% of this movie. Unfortunately a big thing dragging this movie down is that our main character is a cop and it's very difficult to get me to invest emotionally in a fictional cop, particularly one who's as much of an asshole as this movie's main character. This entire movie hinges on its final twist, and while it's decently executed, there isn't enough of substance otherwise for it to leave a lasting impression.

 

 

Oh boy, Donnie Darko. Where to begin? I didn't enjoy this movie when I watched it as a teenager and I enjoyed it even less at 30. It's a painfully self-aggrandizing screed against American suburbia that comes off more like it's sniffing its own farts than saying anything actually profound. The sci-fi elements are bizarre and poorly implemented. The parts that are supposed to be dark, scary or unsettling are more just baffling and boring. The main character is an annoying weirdo with no redeeming qualities - yet the movie goes out of its way to convince us how much everyone in his life adores him regardless. This is best summed up in what I think is the cringiest scene: Donnie asks his mother, “How's it feel to have a wacko for a son?” She thinks about it for a second and says “It feels wonderful.” (His only other meaningful interaction with her was calling her a bitch in the movie's opening scene.) It's an edge-fest that doesn't ask anything of its main character and is far more interested in beating us over the head with how cool and above-it-all and tortured he is than actually developing him in any meaningful way. 

 

Every movie gets a point awarded by virtue of simply being a movie that was completed and released. This one managed to score a second one because the music was really good.

 

Logan Lucky is a fun movie that I always enjoy revisiting from time to time. Though it could have easily slipped into being a dumb bro-comedy, the jokes are snappy and clever and the plot is fun and engaging - I do think it could have been tightened up ever so slightly, as some parts in the first half of the movie feel somewhat sluggish. The goofy heist plot occasionally steps aside for some genuinely very sweet moments that I really liked, too.

I must say: making topical, of-the-time jokes in films is always a huge risk as these can fall out of public consciousness and date the film in a jarring way - but the one this movie makes has gotten so much funnier since its release eight years ago. I won't spoil it.
 

Arrival
Watched 1/16
Rating 8.5/10
 

I think I can safely say that Denis Villenueve is my favorite director now - his Dune is easily my favorite movie of all time (more on that in the next entry), and I've enjoyed everything else that I've seen from him. Arrival, luckily, was no exception.

He's certainly improved as a filmmaker since this movie, as it doesn't feel quite as tightly constructed as Dune or even Blade Runner or Prisoners. The sci-fi elements do require some conscious suspension of disbelief if you're a deep overthinker like me - but once you get past that very small hurdle, it's a fantastic film. The plot twist, in particular, is one of the best ones I've seen and definitely warrants a second watch at some point.
 

Dune (Parts 1 and 2 together, I see them as a single film split in half) is, bar none, my favorite film. It is one of only a small handful of films I'd refer to as an utter masterpiece and one of a very small number to get the mythic 10/10 rating. Everything from the acting, the direction, the visual design and special effects, and the score are about as close to perfect as you can possibly get in a film, in my opinion.

No matter how many times I rewatch this movie, I get chills when Paul finally accepts his role as Lisan al Gaib. From that moment forward, Timotheé Chalamet is not playing the same character. I'm so beyond excited for Messiah and I can't wait to see what Villenueve does with it. I honestly believe his adaptation of the story is even better than the original books.

***Best Blorbo Nomination: Paul Atreides***
 

Salt and Sacrifice
Finished 1/19
Rating 8/10
 

I did play quite a few games in January, but Salt and Sacrifice was the only one I managed to complete. It's quite possibly one of the best Soulslike platformers I've played, save for maybe Blasphemous. (Blasphemous I have to say is better if only for its incredible OST and visual design.) The gameplay is fun and easily kept me hooked for extended play sessions. The hunting mechanic was a little half-baked, but entertaining regardless. My biggest complaint is that being Spellmarked (a state you'll probably spend the vast majority of the game in) turns your character model grayscale, and it was hard to see the little guy I made as Albtraum without his red hair.

My second biggest complaint is that this game had a VERY interesting story that only really kicked in about three quarters of the way through and ended long before I wanted it to. I do have to get into some spoilers here, so skip to my next review if that bugs you. It's revealed quite late in the game that your character, a fugitive who's chosen to be conscripted into an army of mage-hunters rather than rot in prison, underwent a series of magical transformations that turned them into an inhuman monstrosity - but the trauma of the procedures sort of broke their brain, so they still see themselves as human. It's an incredibly interesting concept that's introduced far too late to properly explore - I wanted that Alkymancy Lab level to be 10 times longer than it was! I know it's a common trait of Soulslikes to be light on plot and lore is sparing and tough to find - but I wanted more of what this game showed me.

All in all, though, if you like Soulslike games, this isn't one you'll want to miss. Its predecessor Salt and Sanctuary is pretty good too, but I personally enjoyed this one a lot more. They're not directly connected, so you can skip Sanctuary and just play this one if you want to.

 

Wolfman was the first movie I watched in the theater this year, and unfortunately it was a massive letdown. The opening was intriguing and some of the visual effects were cool. That's about all I can say that's positive. It was a painfully tedious cliché-fest and the themes the movie was trying to set up ultimately amounted to nothing. It wasn't scary, it didn't have anything to say, and by about the halfway mark I was bored enough to at least consider walking out. (I have an AMC Stars membership partly because I see a lot of movies and at $25 a month it's more than paid for itself almost every month I've had it. The other part is I want to be able to walk out of a bad movie and not have to feel like I wasted the ticket price.)

I stuck it through though, despite everything. I loved Julia Garner in Ozark and I was incredibly disappointed in her performance in this movie, which had none of the usual depth or complexity I've come to expect from her. The other actors were equally mid. I can only hope Roger Eggers' Werwulf will finally give me the werewolf movie I've always wanted.
 

Positives first: visually, this movie is stunning. Some of the acting is good. Now onto the rest of the stuff.This move is, I think, Robin Williams' best. I'm honestly shocked it isn't more of a cornerstone of the queer media lexicon. It's funny, it's sweet, it's clever and though it's firmly rooted in the culture of the 90's, it was very ahead of its era and there's there's a timelessness to it that I think makes it eternally relevant.

The leads aren't quite old enough for this to qualify for what most people think is Old Man Yaoi, but they do have an adult son, so I'm going to say they count. Robin Williams, Nathan Lane and Dan Futterman have absolutely heartwarming chemistry as an on-screen family that keeps me coming back to this movie again and again. It's one of my comfort watches for sure.

Some slightly laggy pacing in the middle does keep this from being a 10/10, but it's very high on the list of my faves. Anyone who likes sweet, funny queer romances (especially starring older characters) needs to give this one a watch.

 

Alex Garland has definitely become a director I trust with horror. Annihilation is my favorite horror movie of all time, and Ex Machina (perhaps not a horror proper, but there's shades of it) utterly captivated me when I saw it in theaters. While Men didn't deliver as much as those films, I thought it was well-done - though I wanted more of the horror this film had. Whenever I hear of a movie that reportedly had theatergoers walking out, I expect the horror to be pretty shocking. (So far The Substance and Mother! are the only movies I think actually warrant such a reaction, but maybe I've got a much better tolerance than most.)

The body horror scene in this movie, while it was kind of gross, fell a bit flat for me after how much it had been hyped up. Are people really so squeamish about birth imagery that that's all it takes to overwhelm them? Maybe I just spent too much time reading medical textbooks for fun when I was young.

All in all a decent movie, but not one of Garland's best. I did think the cast did a stellar job, especially Rory Kinnear playing (almost) every man, which was an interesting choice even if I didn't quite understand its purpose.
 

I've come to expect A24 movies to be hit-or-miss for me - sometimes incredible (Everything Everywhere All At Once), sometimes mid (The Green Knight) sometimes completely terrible (Lamb), but all usually have one thing in common: they're fuckin' weird.

This movie broke that mold. It's a short, simple movie about a relatively small marital spat, and is quite possibly the most normal film in A24's lineup. If anything, it's a bit weird in just how small and inconsequential the happenings of the movie are - there are some moments of tension or arguing, but it never reaches a fever pitch and is almost always instantly diffused with a humorous moment. ("Mom? Do we have any bagels?") Usually in movies centering around a marriage there's a moment when, even if the movie isn't headed for a tragic ending, we question if the couple will break up, just for the drama of it all. There's no such moment in this movie. And honestly? None of that is a bad thing.

You Hurt My Feeling's premise is my worst nightmare: an author overhears her husband telling someone that he lied about liking her book and, despite his praise and expressed enthusiasm, found it tedious. I thought this move would be hard to watch because of this - but it's actually a sweet, funny, dare I say even cozy film about relationships, honesty and trust. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

(Although it was a bit weird to see Tobias Menzies in a movie like this when the only other thing I've seen him in was The Terror.)
 

Annihilation
REWATCH 1/29
Rating: 9/10
 

Annihilation, as stated earlier, is my favorite horror movie. It's possibly the best modern example of Lovecraftian horror and the visual design is absolutely breathtaking. The only reason this movie doesn't get a 10/10 from me is I actually felt the horror and creature designs were too sparing. They are so incredibly cool and I wish we got to see more of them. (Like that fucked-up deer?! More of that please!)

Fun fact, I actually own a prop from this movie - no, it's not that bear head (I wish.) It's the cotton swab and specimen tube they use on the gator mouth near the beginning of the movie.